I work to keep myself just as open, exposed, and without cover mentally as I am physically, to keep my thoughts focused on the perception of every sensation, the moment just before my mind takes them and tries to categorize and define them. In this ultra-heightened state, I couldn't create a coherent thought on my own if I had to. "Are you there, my precious beast? Are you well?" she whispers to me, so close that I feel the brush of a few strands that have escaped from her carefully created hair style and the warmth of her breath on my ear. “Are you well?” I think. Our precisely developed and oft-practiced code rises to the top of my consciousness. I nod my head twice and grunt three times though the gag. I picture clearly the smile which I know curls just the corners of her mouth even with the blindfold turning my visual world into the black of a deep and silent cave. She traces her fingernails, first one, then two, then all five, slowly across my torso from my neck, around the. I think she didn't want Dad to show too much interest in us, in case he took out his anger on us as well. Penny – I still miss her, a lot!" I know, Tabs. So do I, but if we do our best now, Mum's love for us will show in how we blossom as individuals. I am doing my best at college, and you are doing you best at school. Mum would say, 'Well done, you two', wouldn't she?"Tabs burst into tears. "You are right, Penny. I want to show the world that my Mum did a lot for me, even if she is not here to see the results. John, Gloria and Muriel are doing their best for us, but I am doing this primarily for Mum."Penny comforted Tabs, thinking to herself: I could do with John's arms round me in a nice cuddle. I wonder if I can get in there and kiss him again?She released Tabs once she was calm again, saying, "I'll leave you to your studies now, Tabs," and stood up to leave. As she approached the door, Gloria walked in."Ah, Penny. Can I have a word in private?" Sure, Gloria. Come to my.
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